Offered by Geoff Nelson, Brighton Family Counseling
Use the KISS principle. Keep it simple stupid. In other words, narrow down what is going on. Don’t unnecessarily involve others. Focus by careful listening, validate that you hear what they are saying and remember it is not about winning the argument but resolving the conflict. Make sure that you separate the problem from the person. It is not about you or them. Once it gets personal, it can get very hurtful.
The next step is to identify the problem. Using a pad of paper to write down concerns and issues, begin to narrow down the main underlying problem. Don’t worry if you cannot agree on a single issue. You may have one or more problems occurring at the same time. If so, pick one and begin the solution process.
Brainstorm about possible solutions. This is where we move from a focus on the problem to real change. Remember the rules of brainstorming. There are no bad ideas. You have unlimited resources and keep brainstorming until you have at least 10 options and/or you have an option that you both agree on. Discuss the implementation of the solution and plan on a time to evaluate how it is working. Remember, don’t keep doing the same thing if it isn’t working…That’s the definition of insanity. If you get stuck, then seek some help. We are always available at Brighton Family Counseling, L.L.C. to assist you in this process of removing conflict from your life.
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