It was almost time for our Pre-Karate class. From my desk I could see Justin outside, running full speed towards the front door. He pulled the door in a single yank and dashed into the waiting area. Shoes and socks flew out because Justin didn’t much care where they landed. Walking slowly behind on the sidewalk was his grandfather Mr. Simmons, who most of the time looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He came in, and momentarily looked up at me, gave me a half smile then followed in toward Justin who was by then standing on a chair in the lounge.

I often thought about how hard it must be for Mr. Simmons to raise Justin on his own. Because of some family circumstances he had full custody of this vivacious four year old with sparkling eyes, the energy of an atomic reactor, and the attention span of a flea. He enrolled Justin in our Karate school as a last ditch effort to help him manage this ball of energy who would hit older neighbor kids, bite others at daycare, and even kick his teacher.

One afternoon Mr. Simmons came to tell me that Justin had just pushed a kid at daycare. I shook my head in disbelief while Justin was just standing there as if nothing had happened. I asked him: “Justin why would you do that?”, he shrugged and replied in his high pitched voice: “He called me a *****.” Everyone in the room gasped as the word casually left Justin’s mouth. Mr. Simmons just hung his head in defeat.

Of course I had the mandatory conversation with Justin about self control and the appropriate use of language, then got back to work. The months passed and Justin remained a very challenging student at Karate and elsewhere. But I knew he had great potential so I refused to give up on him. Little by little after more than a year of work, there was light at the end of the tunnel. Justin began to control his emotions more often and began to focus better. Not perfectly but better.

One day Mr. Simmons came to me and told me in amazement that Justin had an altercation at school, a student had pushed him against the wall, and lo and behold, Justin didn’t hit back. By this time Justin had become well skilled in Karate, he was strong and fast for a six year old, and had just won gold at our last tournament. The fact that Justin held himself back was something completely new for his quick-tempered self.

And there it was. Justin had always reacted out of anger, fear, and frustration. Now, he had found true confidence and self-control. He believed in himself and his ability to defend himself, to the point that he didn’t need to prove it. Justin had turned the proverbial corner. Some students take longer than others to get on the right path, but consistency, his grandpa’s dedication, and our willingness to never give up on him, really paid off.

Mr. Simmons and Justin moved to another state a year later and I haven’t heard from them since. But my hope is that Justin has continued to grow and improve, and maybe found another Dojo where he will continue to thrive. If you’re working with a child who struggles with anger or self‑control, remember that inside every storm of energy there is potential for something amazing—
if only we believe in them and provide the support they sorely need.